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L. Neil Smith's

Number 826, June 21, 2015

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A Song for the Upcoming Campaign, and a Picture
by Eric Oppen

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Attribute to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

I found a lovely picture of Hillary as a little girl. I wonder if anybody else will get the joke?

I'm disgusted at the thought of Hillary even being considered for the Presidency. I'll tell you all about it—no, I'll sing you all about it!

The Song:

Hillary Umbridge

by Eric Oppen

(ttto Officer Krupke from West Side Story)

Hillary Rodham Umbridge, you have to understand
The knowledge that you're crooked has spread throughout the land!
Your husband was a shyster, who got himself impeached,
And we think you've finally overreached!

Yes, Hillary Umbridge, we've just got to say
That people now are begging you to just go away!
You want higher office, but after one look
Everyone knows that you're a crook!
(I'm a crook?)
She's a crook, she's a crook, she's a stupid crook,
She's the kind at whom they throw the book!

(You've got to elect me! I'm owed this! It was rightfully mine in 2008!)

Hillary Rodham Umbridge, we all have to confess,
We never liked you too much, but now we like you less!
You waltzed into the Senate and took a Senate seat,
In New York, a Donkey's hard to beat!

Yes, Hillary Umbridge, it's time to atone,
You really never have accomplished much on your own.
Without Billy's backing, your campaigning sucks,
All that you care about is bucks!
(Lovely bucks?)
You love bucks, you love bucks, you love lots of bucks,
So that you and Bill can live de luxe!

(But—but—I'm a WOMAN! How can you not want a woman president?)

Hillary Rodham Umbridge, though you may seem female,
Your actions are the sort of thing that should land you in jail.
You wiped out all your e-mails and let diplomats die,
And each word we hear from you's a lie!

Yes, Hillary Umbridge, you really should leave,
You never were much good when you'd try to deceive.
The things we find out and facts that have arisen
Mean that you should be sent to prison!
(Sent to prison?)
Sent to prison, to prison, sent straight off to prison,
Where you're sure to meet with much derision!

The trouble is, she's rotten!

The trouble is, she's bad!

The trouble is that she's the worst
The State Department's had!

The trouble is her husband,
And that she is his wife,

Umbridge, we wish you'd exit our life!

Yes, Hillary Umbridge, though it may seem dull,
You're going to find you're slipping in about every poll,
After the election, it's going to be fun,
To tell you that you're finally done!

The Picture (Hillary as a little girl):

hillary as little girl

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