Down With Power Audiobook!


L. Neil Smith's
THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 821, May 10, 2015

What we learned so very painfully
in the 1960s mustn't be in vain.


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Melissa Explains It All
by L.Neil Smith
lneil@netzero.com

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Attribute to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

Life must be extremely frustrating for the former Vice president Albert Gore Junior—or "Algore", as we've come to know and love him thanks to Rush Limbaugh and Scott Bieser. If you look back on the past few years, it seems every time he or one of his Gorbots is about to make a speech, attend a rally, or march in a parade celebrating Global Warming (I mean "Climate Change") and make a few million more carbon bucks, he is greeted by record-setting frigid weather and yards of snow.

Some of these otherwise lucrative events have to be canceled; this is known locally as the "Gore Effect", a corollary to Murphy's Law.

Now it would appear that the Gore Effect is spreading to other areas of concern. You may remember former Nickelodeon teenage actress, Melissa Joan Hart, especially if you were raising a young daughter in the 1990s. She was the star of Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. A decade later (almost two), as she watches a career that wasn't all that great to begin with, fade away all around her, like a Polaroid left in the sun, Melissa Joan Hart wants you dead.

First as a spokesperson, then as a full-fledged member, Hart, it is revealed by Breitbart.com, has made a PSA (one of those annoying, nagging little ads that the government forces TV and radio stations to wedge into their programming) for a victim disarmament (gun control) organization called Moms Demand Action. I'll leave it to you: how many of these creatures are actually mothers? How many of them are even female?

From my experience with the so-called Million Moms March (much better termed the Hundred Hags' Harch—I was gonna say "hump" but thought I might be misunderstood—or understood too well) as they schlepped through my hometown, there are no more than a thousand of them in the country, and what they want is power to beat up and kill anyone who disagrees with them. The single incident of violence that day was when a marcher tried to beat an onlooker to death with her clipboard.

Melissa's embarrassment came when she accidentally scheduled an Algore-like declaration against gun ownership on the same day that a pair of would-be jihadists in Garland, Texas (of all places) decided to kill a bunch of folks at a "Draw Mohamed" contest organized by Pam Geller. Before fifteen seconds had passed, they'd lightly wounded a security guard and another guard had dropped them both with his trusty sidearm.

Pretty awkward to preach gun contol after something like that. It would be better if they'd been killed by an armed civilian, but you can't have everything. As Steven Wright would say, where would you put it?

Some sour grapes purveyors are blaming Ms. Gellar for setting the shooters up. (It did sort of remind me of a Jesse Stone movie.) but she didn't initiate force against anybody. On the contrary. She simply offered an opportunity for bad people to initiate force and expose themselves.

In doing so, the woman may have created what the law calls an "attractive nuisance" but the media types presently making arguments like that go ballistic when somebody else says that a girl wouldn't have gotten raped if she hadn't worn such a short skirt—and therefore her getting raped is her own fault. We don't make that argument any more—not that I ever did—and it's inappropriate to apply it to Garland. I owe that line of clear reasoning to Denver radio talk host Peter Boyles, and I thank him for it. And, of course, it's always fun to hear liberal slunts on TV stepping on their own dicks.

But this essay was supposed to be about Melissa Joan Hart and the ignorant and ill-considered opinions about private firearms ownership she's waving around in everybody's faces. Melissa's current hobby horse is to persuade people to call up their friends and ask them if they own any guns. (In my circle, I already know.) In the current political situation, Melissa, that's a rude question, something like "How many lines did you snort this morning?" Then you're supposed to ask them to unload those guns, lock their locks, place the ammunition in another room, and lock them both somewhere out-of-the-way. Isn't the real "crime" you're trying to prevent here, premeditated self-defense?

People will die if they follow your advice. Happily most won't. Do you really hate your fellow human beings that much? Shouldn't you see somebody professional about that, and maybe do some serious couch-time?

One more question, Melissa: how come the places with the most stringent gun control always have the most violent crime? Think Chicago. Think New York. Think Los Angeles. Think Detroit. No answer? Then I suggest that you sit down, and shut up for a change. Try to learn something from this and a hundred other incidents like it in the past ten years. As it is now, you are an embarrassment, not only to yourself, but to everyone within the range of the stupidity you radiate.


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