Big Head Press

L. Neil Smith's
Number 654, January 22, 2012

"Violence Solves a Lot"

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Open Letter to FedGoons
by The Old Lady Out West

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Special to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

Surveillance might not work out quite as intended here in the rural West.

The other day I went to town and saw a big, black (clean) SUV at the only signal light in town. It had quite a few stubby radio antennas and smoky glass windows (illegal for the rest of us), so I wasn't surprised to see two young men in it with hard looking faces.

The thing is, gentlemen—you stand out like a sore thumb.

Here in the back country, most men drive big pickup trucks. They have deer guards on the front grill, tools and dogs in the back, or big round bales of hay or water tanks. The ladies often drive SUVs, of course, but most of them were originally red, green or some color except black. They are usually full of kids, dogs and groceries.

And all of our cars and trucks are mud to the roof most of the year. Can't read the "license," usually, and nobody much cares.

Most of us are far too busy working, building things, raising families and taking care of our communities to worry all that much about what you're up to. Just understand that if you try sneaking up on someone's property to plant a GPS bug on their car, you will probably have the dogs at your throat or a load of buckshot in your butts. We don't suffer fools gladly.

If you just have to hang around, my advice is to get yourself a nice Dodge Ram truck and a big cattle dog or a bale of hay if you want to go (more or less) unnoticed. Don't wash the truck either, at least until July.

Oh, and get rid of that silly ear plug with the curly wire hanging down. Makes you look like dumb shit idiots.

Actually, the only "terrorists" I've seen here are YOU.


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