A MESSAGE FROM THE PUBLISHER
Of the dead, speak only the truth.
Life has its rewards, sometimes. It never occurred to me that mine
would include writing Senator Edward M. "Teddy" Kennedy's obituary.
The world is a cleaner place without him, and we are all vastly better
I can't think of a single instance in his 47 Senate years of Teddy
taking the same side of an issue that most of this journal's readers
or I would. As for the Constitution, the contempt in which this
nation's founding fathers would have held him is beyond my power to
describe. Even Alexander Hamilton would have lifted one eyebrow and
The man came from a family that was utterly without principles or
scruples. The fact that their fortune was founded on Prohibition-era
liquor smuggling is the only point in their favor I can think of. The
patriarch, Joseph P., was a funny-looking little guy whose financial
support for Franklin Delano Roosevelt bought him an appointment as
Ambassador to the "Court of St. James"an appointment that was
later withdrawn when it developed that the Ambassador was allegedly
leaning toward the National Socialist side of the ongoing argument in
I had a neighbor onceand no, I can't back this up, it's simply
a story the guy next door told me about something that had happened to
him personallywho had lived, as a kid, just down the road from the
Kennedy "compound" at Hyannisport. Sometimes he and his siblings would
play with the Kennedy children, On one occasion, when it was time to
go home, Teddy took my friend's bicycle with him. When my friend's dad
confronted Old Man Joe, the latter automatically began to write him a
"It's not about money. That's my son's bicycle, and he wants it
back." Apparently it took several iterations to get this across to the
former Ambassador; he never really understood the principle involved.
Later, Teddy was caught cheating in school, but I figure that was only
par for the course for a guy, not terribly bright, whose famous older
brother basked in the lifelong glory of award-winning ghost-written
books. No wonder the youngest brother embraced socialism. Someone with
so little ability would wish desperately to receive according to his
Of such stuff is the American "aristocracy" fashioned. This poor,
sad country doesn't need a royal family, even figuratively speaking.
As a people, we are all too inclined to be awed by celebrities, most
of whom, in fact, are just barely hanging onto what's left of their
humanity with their teeth and nails. I've often thought the British,
once they got a good idea of what kind of blathering cretin Prince
Charles is, should have visited Madame Tussaud's and broken out the
It would probably be against the law to make the same observation
about our own "princes", a maudlinity I've heard all too often in the
last few days. So much for the First Amendment. Enough to say that
Teddy has left us, exactly as he left Mary Jo Kopechne, trapped in the
wreckage he helped to make of America, gasping our last few precious
breaths of liberty as the cold, black waters of socialism rise around
L. Neil Smith
Publisher and Senior Columnist
The Libertarian Enterprise
THE EDITOR'S NOTES
Ding Dong the Drunk is Dead!
Which old Drunk?
The Wicked old Drunk!
Ding Dong the Wicked Drunk is Dead!
Hi-ho the derry-oh!
Sing it high!
Sing it low!
Ding Dong the Wicked Drunk is Dead!
Thanks to Dangerous Pat who saw the first line of the above rewritten
song on the Browncoat's Forum, posted by TOTUS. All hail TOTUS!
And on that note (E-flat I believe) I would like to take this time to
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