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L. Neil Smith's
Number 495, November 30, 2008

"The Thought Police have arrived."

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Eat Political Meat
by Ward Griffiths
wdg3rd -+at+-

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

Were you hungry this Thanksgiving? I'm willing to wager that nobody in elected or appointed office was. They eat well out of our labor, property, productivity and of course our wealth. At Federal, State and Local levels of office, everybody from the Chief Executive (and his successor) down to the Town Clerk's secretary were living higher on the hog than we the taxpayers.

There used to be a slogan "EAT THE RICH". (Sometimes with the postscript "Because the Poor are Tough and Stringy"). Don't blame the creative wealthy for the poverty of others. George Lucas and Steve Spielberg didn't take the food out of your childrens' mouths, whatever the crap you bought from them. Nor did Paris Hilton or the (admittedly useless) members of her play-school directly steal anything. Even Bill Gates, as lousy as the products he's sold, didn't hold a knife to anybody's throat to get them to buy the shit. Only government does that kind of thing. And they get more power and wealth every time they screw up the rest of us. They eat the butter, they aim the guns.

Barbecue was apparently independently invented in two widely separated areas, the Caribbean and Polynesia. Nowadays, the main animal that gets cooked by that long, slow cooking process is the common pig, which you want to cook thoroughly since they are omnivores and can harbor many of the same pathogens that afflict humans. But there were no pigs in the Caribbean or in Polynesia when that cooking method was developed, since Great White Father hadn't brought them over from Europe yet. There was an animal more likely to harbor communicable disease. It's known to culinary geeks as "long pork".

By the way, (I'm a culinary geek, and a few things get on my nerves) that thing you do over charcoal in the back yard is not barbecue. It's grilling, just broiling upside-down with extra toxins from the briquets Henry Ford "invented" to get rid of scrap wood (often coated with lead-based paint) from his car factory. Charcoal has been mainstream tech for a few thousand years, the "Iron Age" wouldn't have happened without it, and even bronze is hard to work with just plain wood to heat it up. Henry Ford deserves a lot of credit (though the company he founded doesn't), but he didn't invent charcoal, he just found a new way to market it.

Back to politics and economics. I'm not sure exactly how to treat a statist goon. A strong marinade or at least a seasoned brine for at least twelve hours after the initial work of skinning and cleaning (not a job I look forward to, but these are not pleasant animals, they make honest omnivores like pigs, bears, opossums and rats look sanitary).

Oh, to hell with it. Dig the barbecue pit trench in the back yard and either cook in it or just toss in the govgoon and some quicklime. I suddenly feel ill at the concept of mixing these jerks with my metabolism. But things will get tighter later. Food always gets more expensive when government fucks with the food supply. Nowadays they fuck with it from before it's grown until after you crap it out, and you pay for every probe. The new New Deal regime will think of someplace to poke you.

Keep the option open. Print out your preferred BBQ pork and chili recipes and put them next to your tax forms. The choice is yours and the economy is in the toilet.


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