Big Head Press

L. Neil Smith's
Number 402, January 21, 2007

"Justice is simply not the State's top priority and it never will be."


Poor Katie
by L. Neil Smith

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

The Drudge Report headline this morning read: "S.O.S. COURIC: CBS 'EVENING NEWS' CONTINUES FADE IN BIG CITIES. . ." and went on to say that the first evening network news to be anchored by a woman was continuing to lose a ratings battle against ABC by two to one in New York City, two to one in Los Angeles, and nearly three to one in Chicago.

Shhhhhh! If you're really quiet (and have a good imagination), you may be able to hear the drip, drip of my heart bleeding, for poor Katie.

Or you may not.

For some time, now, I've been meaning to write an open letter to America's dying newspaper industry, outlining a small number of simple steps they could take to completely reverse their flagging fortunes. I don't entirely understand why, but I never have quite gotten around to it. I've always believed (and someday I may explain myself) that if I controlled even a modest small-city daily, like the local Fort Collins Coloradoan, the Greeley Tribune, or Loveland's Reporter-Herald, that I could increase its circulation tenfold, at least triple its ad revenues, and take the whole newspaper national within the space of a year.

Since I haven't gotten around to it (partly because I believe that sort of effort has properly found its way onto the Internet where it belongs) maybe I can share some of my ideas with poor Katie, instead, as she struggles to be noticed—and to justify her hideously bloated salary. I predicted she'd end up in the basement weeks before she took over the i>CBS Evening News, but unfortunately, only to my family. I wish I'd done it in writing, because that might lend my advice more credibility.

Not all of my advice for newspaper publishers properly applies to poor Katie, of course. Every time that anybody conducts a survey of newspaper readers, for example, asking them what part of the paper they turn to first, an overwhelming majority of them names the funny papers. In spite of that, the number and size of newspaper comic strips has been gradually dwindling for the past half century—one reason, I'm told, that Bill Watterson stopped creating Calvin & Hobbes.

I can't tell poor Katie to increase the number and size of the comic strips on her news hour, but she's about to have a government wholly owned and operated by Democrats, so she's well prepared in that department.

The principal advice I have to offer Poor Katie and her foundering colleagues in the printed news business is simply this: tell the truth.

Yeah, I know, it isn't really that simple. She—they—would have to admit, for example, that the democratic political system has degenerated to a point that, in order to get himself elected, a candidate has to be crazy, stupid, a crook, or some combination of the three. Unlike Mother Nature, Auntie Evolution, or even Uncle Charlie (Darwin), the system selects against those who are sane, bright, and decent.

If you don't believe me, simply take a look at some of America's leading political lights, say, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Dick Cheney, Nancy Pelosi, Gerald Ford, and Charles Schumer. Why, there's enough crazy, stupid, and crooked there for a hundred million ordinary folks.

In order to raise her nightly ratings by telling the truth, poor Katie would have to go all the way back to Waco (if not to World War II or the War of Northern Aggression) and reverse the thousands upon thousands of government lies that have been told about what happened there. She'd have to campaign to get the surviving Branch Davidians released.

To raise her ratings, poor Katie would have to investigate whether the 16th Amendment, allowing income taxation, was legally ratified or not. She'd have to tell her audience that the Federal Reserve System is actually a private cartel, owned for the most part by non-American banks. She'd have to point out that the FBI, CIA, ATF, FCC, and other such organizations are unauthorized by the Constitution and therefore constitute conspiracies to deprive us of our rights "under color of law". She might have to admit that the Second Amendment means what it says.

Poor Katie, in order to raise her ratings, would have to honestly reexamine the disasters of September 11, 2001, and acknowledge the fact that a majority of Americans no longer believes the official government story about them. She'd have to consult on-camera with the many scientists and engineers who know that the World Trade Center towers (exactly like the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City) were deliberately demolished from within, and not by some external force.

In a more general sense, poor Katie would have to tell the whole truth about energy: that despite the desperate wishes of those who control the flow of archaic, conventionally-produced petroleum to America, catalytic fusion is real and still being researched elsewhere in the world, and that thermal depolymerization could not only solve this country's energy problems—without the bandit war presently being waged over middle eastern oil—but empty its landfills, as well.

I guarantee that, if poor Katie told the truth about these and other issues—the sneaky and dangerous North American Union conspiracy is another good example—she'd have 95 percent of America, and most of the rest of the world, watching her every single night.

Is it likely to happen?

The sad truth is that American news media became "embedded" with the government long, long before the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Its practitioners worship naked power and the Empire of Lies that it has constructed. They know nothing, absolutely nothing, of freedom or the truth.

Poor Katie is no different. To those who believe they own us, she is expendable. Disposable. Thus she will soon fade away and slide into the oblivion that she—and the rest of her industry—deserve so well.

Poor Katie.

Four-time Prometheus Award-winner L. Neil Smith has been called one of the world's foremost authorities on the ethics of self-defense. He is the author of 25 books, including The American Zone, Forge of the Elders, Pallas, The Probability Broach, Hope (with Aaron Zelman), and his collected articles and speeches, Lever Action, all of which may be purchased through his website "The Webley Page" at

Ceres, an exciting sequel to Neil's 1993 Ngu family novel Pallas was recently completed and is presently looking for a literary home.

A decensored, e-published version of Neil's 1984 novel, TOM PAINE MARU is available at: Neil is presently working on Ares, the middle volume of the epic Ngu Family Cycle, and on Roswell, Texas, with Rex F. "Baloo" May.

The stunning 185-page full-color graphic-novelized version of The Probability Broach, which features the art of Scott Bieser and was published by BigHead Press has recently won a Special Prometheus Award. It may be had through the publisher, at, or at

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