Big Head Press

L. Neil Smith's
THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 380, August 13, 2006

"When you let people do whatever they want, you get Woodstock.
When you let governments do whatever they want, you get Auschwitz."

DIGG THIS

The Mad Lib of Bigotry
by Alex McConnell
adm3333@yahoo.com

Credit The Libertarian Enterprise

This will certainly be offensive to some, so keep the fainthearted away! Also, it's worth noting that not all of these things are unjustified. Some people have valid reasons to be disgusted or offended by some of these things. The point here is that it's wrong to force your views unto others or to deny others equal rights based on your views, justified or not.

First, the core Mad Lib:

Name a place and a group of people.

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful (a place). I absolutely loved their (a place) and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their (a place) though, which is that they allowed (a group of people) there. (a group of people) really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the (a place) to not allow (a group of people) there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their (a place) and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing (a group of people) to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with (a group of people) anymore. Another win for the good guys!

Mad Lib version 1:

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful home. I absolutely loved their home and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their home though, which is that they allowed nudists there. Nudists really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the home to not allow nudists there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their home and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing nudists to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with nudists anymore. Another win for the good guys!

Mad Lib version 2:

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful home. I absolutely loved their home and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their home though, which is that they allowed fags there. Fags really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the home to not allow fags there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their home and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing fags to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with fags anymore. Another win for the good guys!

Mad Lib version 3:

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful restaurant. I absolutely loved their restaurant and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their restaurant though, which is that they allowed smokers there. Smokers really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the restaurant to not allow smokers there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their restaurant and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing smokers to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with smokers anymore. Another win for the good guys!

Mad Lib version 4:

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful home. I absolutely loved their home and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their home though, which is that they allowed drug users there. Drug users really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the home to not allow drug users there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their home and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing drug users to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with drug users anymore. Another win for the good guys!

Mad Lib version 5:

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful restaurant. I absolutely loved their restaurant and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their restaurant though, which is that they allowed niggers there. Niggers really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the restaurant to not allow niggers there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their restaurant and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing niggers to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with niggers anymore. Another win for the good guys!

Mad Lib version 6:

I once knew some people who had an absolutely wonderful country. I absolutely loved their country and spent a lot of time there. There was one problem with their country though, which is that they allowed Jews there. Jews really bother me. I find their behavior to be disgusting, offensive and immoral, and they have no place being in a place where I am. I loved this place so much that rather than go elsewhere, I decided to fix it instead. I tried to convince the people who had the country to not allow Jews there, but they wouldn't even listen to me! They told me some nonsense about it being their business to decide who and what to allow in their country and if I didn't like it I could go elsewhere. Well, since that didn't work, I decided to get the people involved. After all, if I could get the people on my side, that would prove me correct. It took a lot of hard work for me to explain what was wrong with allowing Jews to exist here, but in the end I succeeded and I won't have to deal with Jews anymore. Another win for the good guys!


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