L. Neil Smith's
Number 371, June 11, 2006

"A lot of controversy"

Death Camp Dolly versus Polly Pot
by L. Neil Smith

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

I love it!

As I recently confessed on my brand new blog over at Big Head Press www.bigheadpress.com/lneilsmith, I do enjoy a good flap. It does wonders for the circulation, especially when it's happening between two individuals or groups, both of whom happen to be totally disgusting and contemptible. It's nothing short of thrilling to see them bite and snap and claw at one another, going for the throat and eyes.

In this case, I'm talking about New York Senator and former First Harridan Hillary Clinton, and literary assassin Ann Coulter who are doing the hair-pulling (I was going to say "Jell-O wrestling", but my daughter complained that it was the most revolting mental image I'd ever evoked) each vying for the coveted title of Evil Bitch-Monster of Death.

Coulter—some conservatives reportedly find sexy, but she never fails to remind me of a slightly younger version of Prince Charles' horse-faced enamorata Camilla—has a new book out (she'd want me to mention its title) in which she accuses a group of "9-11 widows" of enjoying a spotlight they wouldn't have, except for the death of their husbands.

Hey, it's not like it hasn't happened before. Tom Mauser comes to mind immediately (great name, Mauser, for a professional advocate of victim disarmament), whose son Daniel was murdered by crazies at Columbine High. Tom even has his own page in the Internet Movie Data Base.

Then there's John Walsh, who has capitalized on his six-year-old son Adam's macabre kidnapping and decapitation (the head was found a hundred miles away; they never found the body) for nearly 25 years. Wearing a trademark black leather coat, Walsh hosted at least two network television shows, was a guest on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and turned "missing and exploited children" into a national industry.

And we must never forget Sarah Brady, psychopathological liar and shining star of Handgun Control, Inc., an organization that has had to change its name frequently and is presently calling itself the "Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence". 9-11 widows to one side, she really would be unknown and careerless if her press-secretary husband hadn't been permanently brain-damaged by a grossly incompetent presidential assassin. Exactly like an old-time Temperance lecturer, she can even drag the twitching corpse around with her from one fundraiser to the next.

But once again, I have digressed.

According to a New York Post story by Niles Lathem, Selim Algar, Ian Bishop, and Dan Mangan (why a story as silly as this should need four reporters to write it is beyond me), Coulter referred, in her book, and during an unapologetic interview, to the "politically active" group of New Jersey women as "harpies", and "The Witches of East Brunswick", giving Senatrix Hillary an excuse to ride in to the rescue:

"They never wanted to be a member of a group," the Woman With One Eyebrow spluttered ungrammatically, "that's defined by the tragedy of what happened, and I felt it's unimaginable that anyone in the public eye could launch a vicious, mean-spirited attack on people who I've known in the last 4 1/2 years to be concerned deeply about the safety and security of our country."

"Perhaps the book," Hillary maundered on (okay, so it's called Godless: The Church of Liberalism), "should have been called Heartless."

Admittedly, except for the sport that begins with cutting a hole in the ice, Coulter is absolutely the coldest fish I've ever seen on TV.

But the fun just keeps on getting funner. Coulter, reportedly signing books in Long Island (rumors that she will be playing Jack Skellington's love interest in the upcoming release of The Nightmare Before Christmas II are evidently untrue), is said to have told media smallie Sean Hannity in an ABC radio interview, "Before criticizing others for being mean to women, perhaps Hillary should talk to her husband, who was accused of rape by Juanita Broaddrick and groping Kathleen Willey at the very moment Willey's husband was committing suicide."

Touche, Annie. Somebody should probably add that Vince Foster allong with all the other victims on the Clinton Body Count list probably didn't want to be a member of a group that's defined by being dead.

Republican New York Governor George Pataki had something to say about the situation, but it was so stupid nobody can remember what it was.

Democratic Senator Charles Schumer, however, called Coulter's words "revolting and despicable," and suggested that she "keep her mouth shut."

Schumer, you may recall, is America's foremost advocate of letting women get raped in an alley and strangled with their own pantyhose. He knows "revolting and despicable" when he sees them—they're in the mirror every morning when he shaves. Democrats who've lost election after election over the past 20 years because of his constant harping on victim disarmament believe he's the one who should keep his mouth shut.

It's reasonably clear Coulter doesn't like the widows because they hold her beloved president and his party responsible for what happened on September 11, 2001. I haven't heard her discuss GOP machinations against the Bill of Rights, or this administration's kidnapping, false imprisonment, and torture policies, but I can guess what she would say, either that it's not happening, or that it's somehow legally and morally justified. Unless, of course, it's the Democrats who are doing it.

But the widows—who supported John Kerry last time around—are wrong, too. They think the answer to the problem is to throw money at it, opposing a recent decision to reduce federal security grants to New York. The want security tightened at the borders, more guards at chemical plants, the international nuclear equivalent of gun control (clearly because it works so well here) and all sorts of other things that are making this once-free country increasingly miserable to live in.

However the attack on the World Trade Center was brought about by decades of unbelievably idiotic and evil foreign and military policy on the part of both major political parties, Democrats as well as Republicans. Voting for either wing of the Boot On Your Neck Party is an act that rivals the Columbine massacre for its utter stupidity and irrationality.

Allow me to say that again, so there's no mistake: voting for either wing of the discredited Boot On Your Neck Party is an act that rivals the Columbine massacre for its utter stupidity, immorality, and irrationality.

Given a choice between Ann Coulter, the Republicans' Death Camp Dolly, and Democrat Hillary Clinton, whom I first called "Polly Pot" almost a decade and a half ago, following her husband's spectacle of death and dismemberment at Waco, I'll cheerfully take None of the Above.

As always, freedom is the real answer.

Freedom—in the form of exacting observation and enforcement of the Bill of Rights, in particular, the Second Amendment which clearly forbids the police state travesties being carried out at the nation's airports today—could have stopped the 9-11 hijackings before they began.

Freedom could prevent international criminals from hurting any more Americans or other folks by removing their excuse—idiotic and evil foreign and military policy—and leaving them to go their own way.

And, as three decades of plummeting violent crime rates—at the same time that private weapons ownership and concealed carry happened to be skyrocketing—clearly demonstrate, freedom, in the form of leaving people's physical safety to the people themselves, works magnificently.

Whereas delegating it to morons in ski masks and Kevlar underwear doesn't.

Four-time Prometheus Award-winner L. Neil Smith has been called one of the world's foremost authorities on the ethics of self-defense. He is the author of 25 books, including The American Zone, Forge of the Elders, Pallas, The Probability Broach, Hope (with Aaron Zelman), and his collected articles and speeches, Lever Action, all of which may be purchased through his website "The Webley Page" at lneilsmith.org.

Ceres, an exciting sequel to Neil's 1993 Ngu family novel Pallas was recently completed and is presently looking for a literary home.

A decensored, e-published version of Neil's 1984 novel, TOM PAINE MARU is available at: http://payloadz.com/go/sip?id=137991. Neil is presently working on Ares, the middle volume of the epic Ngu Family Cycle, and on Roswell, Texas, with Rex F. "Baloo" May.

The stunning 185-page full-color graphic-novelized version of The Probability Broach, which features the art of Scott Bieser and was published by BigHead Press www.bigheadpress.com has recently won a Special Prometheus Award. It may be had through the publisher, at www.Amazon.com, or at BillOfRightsPress.com.


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