L. Neil Smith's
Number 363, April 16, 2006

April is the cruelest month

Here We Go Again
by L. Neil Smith

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

The other day, Charles Schumer, Hillary Clinton, and the usual gang of idiots introduced a bill in the United States Senate to revive the ten-year Ugly Gun and Adequate Magazine ban we just got rid of.

Exactly how frigging stupid do you have to be?

The ban prevented not a single crime. It made carloads of mazuma for outfits and individuals who had been "provident" enough to make and warehouse billions of high capacity magazines before the ban (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) and sell them at ten times the market price after the ban was in place. It encouraged lots of folks who hadn't done it before to buy high capacity weapons. Schumer, Hillary, and their stupid, crazy, evil pals had learned nothing, apparently, from alcohol Prohibition.

Or they had a lot of stock in magazine manufacturers.

And, since the number of cartridges that a magazine could contain was limited to ten, large caliber, high powered magnums became the order of the day, on the principle that if you can't have more, have bigger.

The traditional seven-plus-one-shot 1911 pistol got a new lease on life. It's now available in .50 caliber! What's more, weapons that had held fewer cartridges than ten (including some revolvers) were altered and adapted variously, wherever possible, to hold more. Every 1911 I own now holds at least nine cartridges. You can even buy an eight-shot .357 Magnum "sixgun" from Smith & Wesson, who also make a .50 caliber wheelgun.


In short, the vaunted ban did nothing but increase the practical schrecklikeit of handheld weapons. So I repeat: how frigging stupid do you have to be—Chuckie, Hillary—to do the whole thing over again?

At the same time, as they detect growing weakness in a Republican administration they mistakenly believe is pro-gun, network television programmers, script writers, producers, and directors, plus all of the hairspray-inhalers in the round-heeled news media, are beginning to get openly gun-hostile again. They're starting to beat their drums against private weapons ownership which, in fact, has reduced violent crime in this country by thirty or forty percent over the last twenty years.

But then gun control isn't about guns, is it?

It's about control.

In my long experience (and this is the real point of the present exercise), individuals on the Left—liberals, most Republicans, liberaloid libertarians—lack the intelligence, the self-discipline, and the mental cohesiveness it takes to operate firearms safely and proficiently.

That's right, I said liberals aren't smart enough to handle guns.

They constantly and continually buzz off on any tangent that happens to distract their feeble intellects from moment to moment (people in mass media and broadcast news are good examples of this), and don't dare trust themselves with an artifact as demanding as a gun.

Or as unforgiving.

They also imagine that everybody else in the universe is afflicted with the same utter lack of positive qualities that they exhibit, so they don't trust anybody else with guns, either. Hence the gun control lobby.

And because they've taken enormous, elaborate pains to bring them up as barbarous whim-worshippers—think about that stupid flick Miracle on 34th Street, in which a child who was raised rationally is finally deemed "acceptable" when she casts reason aside and decides to believe in Santa Claus—they trust their own children least of all.

"Follow your heart—or possibly your gut—and disregard your head. Thinking only gets you into trouble. And worst of all, it's insincere." That's why practicing with your gun or experimenting to find (or make) the most effective ammunition is a no-no to so many trial lawyers and judges—there's nothing worse than premeditated self-defense.

The hilarious fact is that liberals are absolutely terrified of their own disgusting offspring—whom they deliberately brought up according to these demented precepts—insisting that the little buggers get pee-tested, breathalyzed, metal-detected, cavity-searched, x-rayed, dress-coded, locker-inspected, and grief-counseled, just as frequently as possible. And thoroughly drugged down, of course. And monitored constantly by TV cameras and RFID chips the rest of the time.

That's why, with each passing day, the public schools have come more and more to resemble maximum security prisons. Check out what passes for educational architecture these days. Believe me, it isn't to keep the badguys out, so much as it is to keep the inmates under control.

But as usual, I have digressed.

I've said this over and over again during the past year. Now I have Schumer and Hillary, in their colossal, hubristic stupidity, to corroborate my claims. The criminal swine of the Democratic Party are not the ones to look to for salvation from the criminal swine of the GOP.

On the contrary, they have now been shown the way, by a vile political party and a genetically impoverished family, to reduce us "under absolute despotism". They will never look back. They will lie, cheat, and steal—they will promise us anything—to become our new Overlords.

Same as the old Overlords.

Tell them that you're going to vote for no incumbent.

It's the only way out.

Four-time Prometheus Award-winner L. Neil Smith has been called one of the world's foremost authorities on the ethics of self-defense. He is the author of 25 books, including The American Zone, Forge of the Elders, Pallas, The Probability Broach, Hope (with Aaron Zelman), and his collected articles and speeches, Lever Action, all of which may be purchased through his website "The Webley Page" at lneilsmith.org.

Ceres, an exciting sequel to Neil's 1993 Ngu family novel Pallas was recently completed and is presently looking for a literary home.

A decensored, e-published version of Neil's 1984 novel, TOM PAINE MARU is available at: http://payloadz.com/go/sip?id=137991. Neil is presently working on Ares, the middle volume of the epic Ngu Family Cycle, and on Roswell, Texas, with Rex F. "Baloo" May.

The stunning 185-page full-color graphic-novelized version of The Probability Broach, which features the art of Scott Bieser and was published by BigHead Press www.bigheadpress.com has recently won a Special Prometheus Award. It may be had through the publisher, at www.Amazon.com, or at BillOfRightsPress.com.


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