L. Neil Smith's
Number 278, July 4, 2004

"It would be worse than dying."

The Kaptain's Log
The Mark of the Beast

by Manuel Miles, aka Kaptain Kanada

Exclusive to TLE

"And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand... that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name."—The Book of Revelation, ch.17: 16,17

Bad news for atheists: divine prophecy has come thundering across the front pages of the Satanic State's newspapers like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. For as your good Kaptain was perusing one of the local statist periodicals this week, he came upon a "human interest" article about that wonderful, new "technology that cares", the VeriChip™. You can forget about national identity cards; that's too low-tech for Beelzebub and his minions.

Of course, wonderful new caring from the State needs to be introduced slowly and carefully, lest the masses get the idea that this could somehow be used against them. The income tax was a temporary measure, never to exceed 3%, after all, and the Canadian gun registry would not cost more than $2 million (give or take—you give, the federal State takes—the over one billion dollars the politicians have confiscated for this noble project so far), and the wonderful new VeriChip™ is here to help you to have fun and party. Of course.

The article gushed on about how one's whole life could become a nonstop Club Med™ style orgy as soon as the tiny (about the size of a grain of rice) identification chip were implanted into one's hand. Oh, and it also will keep the implantee "safe" by making his whereabouts known to, uh, whoever has the controls... at all times.

Just think of it! All day, every day, a benevolent and all-caring State could know where you are (and, by extension, what you are doing, and with whom) without the cost of all those video cameras which now attempt to keep track of our every waking moment. No clumsy cards would be needed either; this could save our protector, the State, the trouble of getting the records of your credit cards, your gas cards, your supermarket cards, et cetera, in order to account for your whereabouts and activities. If you are kidnapped by The Terrierists, for example, the US Air Cavalry could fly to your rescue... presuming, of course, that it really, truly does care about your insignificant carcass half of 1% as much as it does about the interests of Big Oil and the Israel Lobby.

I know what you are thinking; the old Kaptain has been smoking the ship's hemp rope, eh? Well, not so; we use synthetic materials for our sheets, lines, painters, hausers and cables these days, matey, and I am perfectly straight and sober. But don't take my word for any of this, verify VeriChip™ at their own site, at www.4verichip.com. It's enough to sober you up even if you have been smoking rope...

The VeriChip™ provides "secure tamperproof identification for a variety of medical, financial, security and other applications." You just have to love those financial applications; imagine how lovely life will be when "no man might buy or sell save he that have the mark... in their hand." No more sloppy credit cards; just a wave of your implanted hand, and a transaction is completed quicker than George W Bush sold his soul.

And the "security" applications? The mind reels. Just imagine what Presidents and Prime Ministers could do to make sure that we and our thoughts are all secured. Golly, I feel safer already. There's more: this comes directly from their website, and I quote, "VeriChip products are being actively developed for a variety of security, defense, homeland security and secure-access applications, such as authorized access control to government and private sector facilities, research laboratories, and sensitive transportation resources, including the area of airport security." I'll just bet they are.

The crap about financial security and easier partying is the thin edge of the wedge, and you, I, and the State all know that this works on the bleating masses every time. I'm sure they'll use all those agitprop bywords of the Thought Police State: "Security! Convenience! Choice!" Sign me up today; heck, I'll get the whole family implanted, and that dang cat, too.

Now, here's a surprise: the "Media" section of VeriChip™'s site sports a loooooong list of the State's media which have been promoting this wonderful, caring technology. Who would have thunk it?!

Of course, it's for your own good, comrades; perhaps that's why they have a string of MD types promoting it. I wonder if the slogan will be, "Introduced to you by the same profession that prescribed thalidomide™," or maybe, "If you can't trust a doctor, who can you trust?" in the hopes that nobody will remember the "medical experiments" conducted by Nazi and Soviet doctors on their "patients" in the Gulags and concentration camps.

I bet it would be a really good way to keep track of all them A-rab Terrierists, too. I won't die of shock if I find out that people are released from Gitmo and Abu Ghraib with these wonderful "security devices" under their skins. I also won't have a heart attack to hear legions of slobbering "Amerika, Luv It Er Leev It" types clamouring for just that.

I recommend that everyone who loves Peace and Liberty keep an eye on this outfit and their Satanic product. Who knows, we just might want to oppose it, too. It's a Brave New World, comrades, and it's coming to a thought police state where you live. "He that hath an ear, let him hear..."

Some days I'm glad that I'm getting old. There's a whole lot of the Glorious Future that I won't be sorry to have missed.

Next week: leftover odds and ends of my politically incorrect vitriol, and then I promise I'll try to keep my opinions to myself for a spell. You may begin partying now.

Peace and Liberty.


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