L. Neil Smith's
Number 214, March 10, 2003


To All The Rich Libertarians; A Modest Proposal

by Patrick K Martin

Exclusive to TLE

I've been thinking (a dangerous practice which my wife discourages), most of us agree that it's too late to fix the system, and too soon to shoot the bastards, so what do we do in the meantime?

So there I was, hiding in my office so the wife wouldn't catch me thinking, and suddenly it hit me, the "De Oppresso Liber Foundation!" As will be obvious to many, I take my inspiration from the Army Green Berets, those "School teachers from Hell," as one friend and former member used to say. You see, Green Berets are not supposed to fight, but rather to train and support the natives in the target country who wish to do so, "To liberate the oppressed" as the motto says, not directly, but by allowing the oppressed to do it themselves.

What is the biggest reason why people do not fight the unlawful, un-Constitutional, un-American edicts, handed down by our Federal, State, County, and Municipal masters? Why fear and lack of resources of course. How do you fight the confiscation of your goods when you must post a fifteen thousand-dollar bond to get your day in court? How do you fight against anti-Second Amendment legislation when your enemies have all the time, money, and lawyers in the world, and all you have are bills? How do you even know the proper legal avenues to take in order to fight the usurpation of your rights if you are not a lawyer and do not have the money to hire one?

What I propose is, in so far as possible, to get every pro-Liberty, pro-Constitution, and pro-civil rights group in America together to fight the government beast. The John Birch Society, Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership, the ACLU, the NAACP, the CATO Institute, the Fully Informed Jury Association, everybody. If they won't join as permanent members then we ask them to be allies of the moment, working with us in individual cases. We go to industry, the firearms companies, the tobacco companies, the fast-food industry, both for donations and to fight for their rights. We get individuals to help, both with donations of their time and money, and to file lawsuits and administrative actions against the various governments and agencies which are trampling our rights.

Our primary weapon is the same one which has been used by everyone from the Church of Scientology to the environmental movement, the nuisance lawsuit. Caught bringing cigarettes from the low-tax state to the high-tax state? The Foundation will help you file suit in both state and federal court for this un-Constitutional violation of Article I, section 9 (No tax or duty shall be laid on articles exported from any state). Forced to stand in sub-zero weather to smoke? The Foundation will assist you in suing your employer for endangering your health. Has your company been sued for forcing your employees to smoke outside? The Foundation will help you file suit against the state for forcing you to do it. State Highwaymen Patrol confiscated your vacation money? The Foundation will post your $15,000 bond and provide you with a lawyer to get your cash back. Then it will help you file suit to recover damages for everything from your travel expenses to the mental anguish caused by your vacation being ruined. Are you in the military and want to refuse to serve as a UN thug? The Foundation will get you a lawyer to fight your courts-martial on the grounds that UN service violates the Uniform Code of Military Justice, as "Peacekeepers" have no right to trial-by-jury, to question witnesses (as no "Peacekeeper" may answer any questions concerning his or her service. Don't believe me, ask Janet Reno, who threatened to throw one such individual in jail if he answered questions before congress concerning the UN's Cambodia mission). Tired of the local media outlet spewing propaganda? The Foundation will assist you in filing a complaint with the FCC for this failure to operate in the community interest. Ready to file a RICO suit against the local bunny-huggers for their continual harassing lawsuits to stop development and destroy industry in your community? The Foundation will be there for you.

What was that you said? It won't work you say. Such suits can't be won? Well who told you that the purpose was to win? No my friend, the purpose of the Foundation is to fight and make noise. We must clog the courts, jam the proper channels, and disrupt the normal flow of discourse. Our plan is to be like George Washington, to lose the battles but win the war. How will we win? By showing people what the current occupational government is all about. We must bypass the mass-media by using every pro-freedom website, every independent newspaper, every dinky low-powered radio station, every shortwave broadcaster to get our message out. Our purpose is to make noise, to be the squeakiest wheel in the history of grease. We must force the government to either restore our rights or prove to even the most ignorant of our fellow citizens that we don't have any.

All it takes is money, lots and lots of money. Money for lawsuits, money for lawyers, money for website's, advertising and all the other things we need. People and issues are everywhere, every day we see people who are fighting the system, people on our side, and with the money to help them, new recruits will flock to our standards, but we need the money first. We need to find ways to allow people and businesses and other groups to help fund our activities without drawing the wrath of the beast, as well as a way to help protect the Foundation from the inevitable backlash when the confiscators come for it.

So what do you say, you rich, fat-cat, Libertarian Capitalists out there. Ready to pledge "Our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."? Well, how about just the fortune?


Net Assets
by Carl Bussjaeger
"Access to Space for Everyone!"

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