L. Neil Smith's
Number 178, June 17, 2002


Fear-mongering Bureau of Incompetence
by Carl Bussjaeger

Exclusive to TLE

I should stop picking on the FBI; they're just such easy targets, after all.

But on the other hand, the dipsticks deserve it. After demonstrating its true skills in a months-long blaze of mediocrity ranging to criminal incompetence, the Feebs have done it again. They've captured Public Enemy Number One: Jose Padilla, super-terrorist. Mastermind behind the forthcoming semi-nuclear "dirty bomb" attack on the United States.

Okay, not exactly.

In fact, ol' Jose (aka Abdullah al Muhajir) looks like nothing more than a somewhat confused ex-gangbanger. His worldwide terrorist activities seem to be limited to a road rage shooting that injured no one, a speeding ticket, and getting his license suspended for neglecting to pay his fines.

Looks like a real menace to national security to me.

Of course, Joes's 'real' alleged terror crimes are that he traveled to countries that were or are technically US allies, spoke to people who hadn't been charged with any crimes at the time, learned how bombs work, and discussed dirty bombs among other things. I strongly doubt that I'd like Padilla or his politics, but he doesn't seem to have done anything.

Yep, the FBI, having reached new peaks of ridicule for failing to follow up on the attack warnings they received prior to 9-11, are trying to cover their bureaucratic butts by busting a banger who's actually done nothing. Just the fan belt inspectors' way of saying, "Look, we're going after everything now. Really. Everything!" It puts me in mind of a pack of quivering Chihuahuas.

Which just goes to show that IQs are still in the sub-basement over there. If the FBI had any excuse for existing at all, it should have been actively pursuing valid suspects and preventing the 9-11 horror they knew was coming. Not tapping whorehouse telephones.

Padilla's bust is more of the same, and worse. The feds are still missing the point, still ignoring real problems for sideshows.

And they're using this bogus dirty bomb plot (read the news carefully - the feds never actually claim that Padilla did anything whatsoever to implement any act of violence in this little brouhaha) as a scare tactic to justify more criminal intrusion into the lives of honest Americans.

Their new message: Watch out! Anyone may be a terrorist; even the guy next door. Let us protect you.

Which I must admit is consistent with US JBT General Ashcroft's assertion that anyone who criticizes the fit of his jackboots is a terrorist.

To be sure, yours truly qualifies on that basis. And if I take it a little farther, and make a quick comparison with poor Padilla ...

Lessee ... I've certainly done my share of world travel. I sure talk to other people who disapprove of Herr Ashcroft. As for learning to make things that scare feddies - Have you seen some of the articles we run at Doing Freedom! magazine?

And those politically incorrect discussions: I guess no one at the FBI has read NET ASSETS yet, since they haven't busted me. Of course, what I've seen of FBI reading skills suggests that NET ASSETS exceeds the maximum reading grade level of the majority of their agents. Why, NA - written long before 9/11 - even discussed the possibility of flying aircraft into buildings.

But the FBI says they never foresaw anything like that.

Naturally, the feds don't want Padilla to have a chance to come across as an ordinary guy that hasn't done anything. Why, if he got a lawyer and went to court, he might even be found innocent. But he won't.

Glorious Leader Dubya has conveniently declared this American who never did any fighting (or at least it hasn't occurred to the brain- dead bureaucrats to make that claim as of this writing; watch for breaking news) an "enemy combatant", coincidentally ripping away this American's rights to anything. No lawyer. No trial. Perpetual imprisonment. No outside contact. No chance to tell his side of the story.

Digression: Show of hands. How many of you still think the Constitution is good for anything but toilet paper?

Back to our curent program:

But until we finally dismantle the FBI, and jail a good many of the staff, we should be glad they're so damned stupid. Think just how scary a competent police state would be.

And there's a little black humor in all this. With Dubya set to make Homeland Security a cabinet-level administration, take a look at the proposed structure. Note that the HS Gestapo doesn't want the bumbling oafs at the the FBI. Even the feds are embarrassed by these idiots.

Which, frighteningly enough, suggests that HS is going to be a lot better at goose-stepping and enslaving folks.

I need a drink.

Copyright 2002 by Carl Bussjaeger. All rights reserved. Permission to redistribute this article for noncommercial purposes is herewith granted by the author, provided that it is reproduced unedited, in its entirety, appropriate credit given, and that the author is informed.


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