THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 71, May 8, 2000
Nasty, Brutish, and Short
What is it with the Republicans? I regret to admit that many of my precious votes have been wasted on those pasty faced, back stabbing, vote whoring, mealy mouthed Repugnantcins. Over the years I have bought into their lies, their promises, and their threats. Yes, their threats. For how many years have we heard "This is the most vital election in our history" or some such rubbish like that?
I am about sick of it. I have voted for Libertarians in the local and the state races level, but when it came to the Federal stuff, well, it was important to keep those nasty Democrats out of office. Give up the dream of true Freedom Fighters in the Great Muddy Swamp, and hold my nose to keep the nasty bad Socialist out. But what good has it done for the cause of freedom?
Well, we gave them the Senate when "The Great Obfuscater" was there, and we got diddly squat for freedom. This time we gave them both the House and Senate, and once again, diddly squat. Still the minions cry out "Just give us a chance, our boys will bring us freedom!" How many years have we heard the fantasies of these loyal minions "Once they have the House, Senate, Presidency, and all nine Supreme Court Justices, then we will have some real freedom!"? Sure, and if we all wish real hard, Tinker Bell will be all right.
Even when you point out how Repugnantcin victories in state elections lead to more of the same, the minions cry out "How can you judge all Republicans on the actions of some governors and state houses?" Well, if we can't judge on those examples, then what can you judge them on?
In Colorado, we put up a good majority of Repugnantcins, and what have we gotten? A batch of Bill Clinton cloned legislation. When the Liar in Chief came to our state, the only problem Bill "Back Stab" Owens had to say was "Don't politicize Columbine". I guess he wants to do that all on his own. I understand the folks in Virginia are wondering what happened after voting out the bad socialists and in with the good socialists.
But no matter how many times you show them the truth, the loyal minions of the Repugnantcins act like a bunch of battered spouses. "Sure my guy beats me once in a while," you hear them say, "but he is my guy, and I will stick with him." Well, it is time we have battered voter shelters, so the Conservatives can get away from those abusive Repugnantcins, and into healthy voting relationships. I hope that they will recover before we are all the victims of their relationship gone bad.
Scott Graves <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To the editor and publisher,
Congratulations on your obvious originality as shown by the introduction of "Crass Commercial Messages" to The Libertarian Enterprise Web site.
G. Gordon Liddy has been calling advertisements "crass commercial messages" on his syndicated radio program for more than 6 years now. Having copied G. Gordon Liddy on this, I wonder when you folks will copy some of Rush Limbaugh's schtick next. Or perhaps, in your efforts to attract readers, you'll be copying Howard Stern as well.
Dean Chambers <email@example.com>