L. Neil Smith's
THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 68, March 31, 2000
Special to TLE
Attorney Lawrence Taylor once said, "the greatest single threat to
our freedoms today is a group of American housewives." More accurate
words have never been spoken.
Taylor was talking about Mothers Against Drunk Driving, better known
as MADD. Why would he single out this particular group? Because
according to Taylor, "we know that throughout history it is the
well-intentioned zealots -- those who believe strongly in the
rightness of their cause -- that are most willing to impose those
ideas upon others."
Let's examine a few of the "ideas" that have been imposed by the
Supreme Court with the help of MADD. These were originally known as
the DUI Exceptions to the constitution.
The Fourth Amendment, thanks to mom, now says, "The right of the
people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects
shall not exist." Mother has blessed us with Nazi style checkpoints
staffed by soldiers in full Battle Dress Uniform, smelling our
breath, checking our eyes, and making sure our papers are in order.
The Fifth Amendment has been modified to read, "Any person may be
twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; shall be compelled to be a
witness against himself; and private property may be taken for public
use, without compensation."
Mommy dearest has even given us the "Forcible Bloodletting"
exception. If you refuse to provide the police with
self-incriminating evidence, they are allowed to hogtie you and open
The new version of Amendment Six tells us that "the accused has no
right to a jury trial or the Assistance of Counsel for his defense."
And lastly, according to mother's revised Eighth Amendment,
"Excessive bail and fines shall be inflicted, both cruel and unusual
punishments as well as imprisonment shall always be imposed."
But wait a minute. There are ten amendments in the Bill of Rights and
so far mom has only addressed four. Lucky for us, mother holds to the
notion that a woman's work is never done.
It seems those dusty little liberty-bunnies are always dirtying up
the house of tyranny. This time, mom found some under the bed in the
little Billy's room. She got really mad. Not mad at Billy, she was
very angry because the congresscritters didn't eat all those nasty
Now mommy has set her sights upon the Second Amendment. In fact, she
plans to march on Washington on her very special day because she
feels the Second Amendment "has become untenable."
Magnus Mater tells us, "We, the mothers, are calling on Congress to
enact common sense gun control legislation by Mothers' Day 2000. Come
May 14th, we mothers will go to Washington, D.C. either to celebrate
sensible legislation or to protest bipartisan ineptitude."
We, as mothers, endorse the following:
Sensible "Cooling Off" Periods and Background Checks
We believe that it is only common sense that sensible "cooling
off" periods and extensive background checks be required of any
individual who wants to purchase from any person or place weapons
intended only for killing or injuring humans.
License Handgun Owners and Register All Handguns
We call on Congress to require all handgun owners to be licensed
and that they be required to register their weapons with the
proper authorities. It makes sense.
Safety Locks for All Handguns
Guns, like every other consumer product sold in America, have to
meet minimum safety standards. Gun manufacturers should have to
design guns with locks built in, and with other common-sense
devices like loaded-chamber indicators and child-proofing.
Limit Purchases to one-handgun-per-month
We believe that it is only common sense to end straw purchase
transactions where individual who may legally purchase a firearm
is hired to purchase firearms for Gun traffickers. These guns are
sold on the illegal market and eventually wind up on our nation's
streets, killing our kids.
No-Nonsense Enforcement of Gun Laws
We call on all officers of the law to assume a no-nonsense
approach in enforcing existing gun laws and to join us in our
mutual crusade for stronger legislation.
Enlistment of Help from Corporate America
We call on all child-friendly, nonviolent stores, companies, and
corporations to sponsor us in these pursuits by advertising our
message that guns -- in the wrong hands -- is simply unacceptable.
We call on the like minded to work with community law enforcement
agencies to offer swaps of meaningful goods and services for
guns. And that the guns be destroyed by the proper authorities.
In turn, we, the mothers, will patronize all child-friendly,
nonviolent sponsors who join us in this mission.
Our aim is to recruit -- from all walks of life -- mothers,
grandmothers, stepmothers, godmothers, foster mothers, future
mothers, and all others willing to be "honorary mothers" in this
crusade. Our goal is to educate and mobilize the mothers of
America to this cause. Our commitment as voting citizens is to
realize our goals by Mothers' Day, 2000.
Is mom the greatest threat to our freedoms? You be the judge, but I
think she says it best when she admonishes, "any constitutional
amendment can be regulated for public health and safety."
Perhaps, after the mommies return home from Washington, the Bill of
Rights will be further refined to say, "A well regulated Militia,
being anathema to the security of a police state, the right of the
people to keep and bear arms, shall not be tolerated."
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