L. Neil Smith's
THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 56, September 30, 1999
Mother Nature, Dominatrix
by Brian Whitehurst
Exclusive to TLE
Mother Nature isn't cruel, or heartless, or indifferent, as so many
have opined. Mother Nature is kinky.
This revolutionary thought occurred to me as I was engaged in an hour
long controlled fall down a mountain, after having been blown and
rained off the top during a recent deer hunt. It had taken me and my
hunting partner over two hours to get to the top just in time for the
storm; due to a miscalculation on my part my boat had gone dry at low
tide, forcing us to hike the length of the bay before we started the
climb to deer country. Even though the outdoors is my church, and
Nature my god, it doesn't mean that occasionally a worship service in
my church isn't just as painful as sitting through a Catholic mass.
You see, sometimes Mother Nature is into bondage, as I noticed while
vainly trying to extricate my feet from a tangle of blueberry bushes.
Sometimes she's a fan of whipping; a fact that she pointed out to me
several times while following my partner through alder thickets. Mom
will go the extra step, throwing in such fun as devil's club, a
poisonous plant with the manners of a crotchety cobra. She'll make
you sweat until your clothes are drenched, then she'll blow a cool
breeze on you that feels good until you start to freeze. She'll show
you just enough game to keep you coming back for more, but if the
hunting ever gets too easy, you won't enjoy yourself. Human nature,
don't you know.
Other times Mother is generous, giving and far too beautiful to be
described or recreated by man. Sunsets, the aurora borealis,
mountains, glaciers, the Victoria's Secret catalog, even simple
clouds are miracles to witness. She's a tease, though, make no
mistake. We can look, we can touch, but even if we own a small
portion of the world, we can't control Mother Nature.
By now you're probably asking yourself, "Sure, this is a magnificent
piece of writing, but what does it have to do with libertarianism?"
Well, how about our natural rights? You remember, the one's the
government conveniently keeps forgetting we have.
Our natural rights can go both ways, too. Freedom of speech means
hearing morons air their opinions (at length on any TV network every
night), as well as reading the words of greats like Rand and
Heinlein. The right to privacy means that sometimes criminals get to
hide evidence from those who would punish them, while at the same
time it protects your right to do what you want, when you want,
without worrying about prying eyes. You know that you have the right
to protect yourself with whatever weapon you desire (a Barrett Light
Fifty will do nicely, thank you) even though that means you will have
to practice and be ready to defend yourself, because the bad guys of
the world, in and out of uniform, have firearms, too. Even such
ostensibly human vermin as Bill and Hillary have the right to a
trial, just the same as we do, as hard as that is to imagine.
Yep, ol' Ma Nature is kinky. Who else would give us the Inquisition
and Galileo at the same time? Lincoln and Spooner? Hitler and Hayek?
Schumer and Smith (El Neil, not Bob)? Reno and sex? Ma likes it to
hurt while it feels good, in fact, I think she enjoys pain more than
she does pleasure. If that isn't kinky, then I haven't spent enough
What does this mean for those of us interested in freedom?: there is
always hope. Just remember that while the Clintons of the world are
spreading their bullshit as well as any farm equipment John Deere
ever devised, the Smith's of the world are following behind, enduring
the stench to bulldoze the manure right up and over their oppressive
asses. While the California Tweedle Twins, sometimes laughingly
referred to as "Senators", try to outdo each other in legislative
stupidity, Vin and Claire intelligently and humorously point out to
all who will listen that not only are the Tweedles simultaneously
ignorant and deceitful, but that they are also beneath our contempt.
It means that wherever there is an officious little turd of a
bureaucrat, there is someone like you or me, waiting to flush him.
This does not mean that I believe in predestiny, far from it. I think
our Mother merely sets up the dichotomy, it's up to us what we do to
resolve it. Mother Nature likes to watch.
Still, it gives me hope for the future, in that it seems time for
Mother Nature to put away the strap-on of tyrannical government (or
at least to lube the damn thing) and maybe slip into something more
comfortable, like freedom. Then again, I better get back to the
reloading bench, because from here it looks like she's getting out
the whips and chains again.
And, please Mother, next time go easy with the rain.
Better The Tyranny You Know Than The Tyranny You Don't Know
Bush plans to hire gun-law prosecutors
He stresses enforcement, not new rules
By Wayne Slater / The Dallas Morning News
AUSTIN - Less than a week after a Fort Worth church shooting, Gov.
George W. Bush said Tuesday that his administration will add eight
prosecutors to pursue gun crime.
The governor said Texas doesn't need more laws but can better enforce
the existing ones.
"The best way to protect our citizens is to vigorously enforce the
tough laws we have on the books," Mr. Bush said.
At a news conference, Mr. Bush said that under a two-year, $1.6
million program, new prosecutors will help local and federal
authorities address crimes involving weapons. ...
The initiative got a tepid response Tuesday from groups that support
the registration of firearms. ...
DC Police Chief's Understanding Of The Constitution And The Proper
Role Of "Public Servants"
[Chris Wallace, ABC News, and Chief Charles Ramsey, Washington DC
Wallace: "... Let's look again at that ABCNEWS poll and some of the
ideas that the public seemed to think were good ideas for gun control
- background checks at gun shows, mandatory trigger locks, ban on
assault weapons, handgun registration, ban Internet gun sales. What
do you think of those? How much would they help?"
Ramsey: "Well, I think it would help a great deal and I think that
when you take a look at those numbers you really have to ask why are
we even having this debate? I mean if our elected officials are
there to serve and to really fulfill the wishes of the public that
puts them in office I don't know why we're sitting here having this
debate because those numbers are really, quite frankly,
overwhelming. ..." [emphasis added]
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