Buy a Gun, Piss Off a Liberal
by Scott Graves
Special to The Libertarian Enterprise
Paying attention to the news and world events can often put one in a
bad mood. I often wake up in a dreadful mood, one filled with a sense
of doom, a sense our once free land is going down the toilet.
Thursday was just such a day.
I awoke to the news that Der Fuhrer Clinton was dragging a batch of
"selected" Columbine students to the hallowed halls of Congress to
"lobby". He wanted the congress-critters to listen to these students,
and ban guns. Of course, he selected only those who would follow his
lead. After all, the father who lost a girl to the murderers blamed
politicians, not guns, and we hear nothing from him.
But media bias is as old as the day is long, and we arenít going to
waste electrons to bring that up. What I am talking about is my sure
fire way of bringing light to the darkness of a day ruined by gun
grabbers. I was pissed off most of the day, and then remembered I
needed to get ball, powder and caps for my upcoming trip home to
visit the folks.
My father owns a farm, and I never pass up the opportunity to shoot
from the trunk of my car. Nice to have the radio playing, the beer in
the cooler right there, and no need to hike to the range. Also I
enjoy showing off my collection, and practicing my fast draw is nice
While wondering which kind of ball to get, and thinking "pyrodex or
black powder", when I saw it, laying there in the glass case, a used
Colt 1860 Army, smooth barrel, brass frame, and the best action I
have felt in a revolver in a while. Sweet I thought, and then I saw
the price tag, $130. Not a bad deal I decided, and I whipped out
Happy Mister Plastic, and charged it. I went ahead and got a set of
cavalry holsters for the wild west look, and was feeling real good.
Now I already have a pair of 1860 Army revolvers, a Walker, a Wells
Fargo, a LeMatt, and a single shot 50 caliber cannon. But one more is
always welcome, I have enough love to share with more than one gun. I
never really known that pleasant feeling that one gets from buying a
new thing, until now.
I felt so much better after buying that gun. I felt like I had done
something so perfectly American. I had walked into a store, put down
my money, and walked out with a gun. No wait, no paperwork, no ID
needed. Just the cash to do it. Even took it out in a brown paper
I recommend to everyone to go out and buy a black powder piece or
two, it feels so good to walk out a free human with a gun in hand. I
recommend a Colt 1860 Army, a nicer shooting piece was never made.
Certainly the Walker is just huge and the Wells Fargo is cute, but
the 1860 Army is a damn fine shootin' iron. Find a book on the
subject, get some .451 ball, some fffg powder, a 25 grain measure, a
tin of #10 caps and some Bore-Butter. Then go out and enjoy your new
Remember, every pistol purchased is one more that will piss off a
Liberal. Why not take a picture of your new gun, along with a note
that you didn't file a single form to buy it, or ask permission from
anyone to get it. Send it to the White House, and let Bill Clinton
have a bad day for a change.
Scott Paul Graves e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
President and CEO of Lawyers Guns and Money Ltd.
How can it be an elected batch of thugs stealing your money is
better than a private group of thugs stealing your money?