The End of the Raven
By Edgar Allen Poe's Cat
Peculiar to The Libertarian Enterprise
On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door.
"Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
"There is nothing I like more"
Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered, I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor;
For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and wierd decor --
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.
Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents' worth -- "Nevermore."
While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly lept up, pouncing on the feathered bore.
Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore --
Only this and not much more.
"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out, "Pussycat, it's time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before;
How I've wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty" -- then I heard him start to snore.
Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped -- and smashed it on the floor.
This offering came to us by way of the cybernetic "folk process",
without an author's name attached to it. We are thus indebted, in
order of various message headers, to Roberta, LadyMori, Tam, Nebet
Het, and last but not least, the ever-popular Yael Dragwyla.
ADDENDUM MARCH 12, 2003:
Saw your page with the poem "The End of the Raven" and noticed you
don't have the author credited. It is a poem copywrited by Henry Beard
and appears in his book Poetry for Cats and published by Villard
Books (part of Random House; 1994).—crone_1948