Stop Being Stupid
By John Taylor
Exclusive to The Libertarian Enterprise
Anne Bourne, of Carmel California, writes in the April 18th, 1997
'Monterey County Herald' (as reported in 'The American Spectator',
"We could abolish gun violence very easily, simply by making all
gun ownership a crime until such violence is reduced to zero.
Everyone who owns a gun and defends general gun ownership is, I
believe, a contributor to gun violence and should be held partially
responsible. Once gun crime has stopped (yes, I believe it's
possible to actually stop anything we really want to stop), those who
have gun permits for hunting and have never committed a crime could
once more own a gun, but if any crime occurs, once more all guns
would be confiscated."
You know, we really could make this work. But to do so we'd
have to get rid of all guns; otherwise the gun nuts would just
steal guns from those who still had them. Of course, the gun crazies
would have to have some incentive to go along; otherwise they might
just go berserk right on the spot and start attacking people at
random. So what we would have to do is to make sure that all guns
were confiscated virtually simultaneously. We could pick a day -- I
suggest Peace Day, August 6th, Japan's nominee for the first
world-wide holiday -- and on that day we'd confiscate all the guns.
We'd confiscate the guns from:
-- the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, reserves,
National Guard and any other armed forces members. We'd confiscate
the guns from all special forces, including JTF-6, Delta, SEALs,
Rangers, every gun of every member of all the armed forces.
-- all federal officers, including the FBI, BATF, Secret Service, US
Marshals, all Congressional bodyguards (I'm sure Ms. Bourne would be
surprised to know that some of the most staunch supporters of gun
control in the Congress of the United States are protected by
bodyguards with automatic assault weapons whose only purpose is to
kill as many people as possible), and all other armed federal
employees, such as Park Police, Treasury, IRS, park service, postal
service, federal corrections, and Department of Energy personnel.
-- all state, county, and local law enforcement, including state
police, state bureau of investigation, state marshals, county
sheriffs and deputies, and county, city, and other municipal police
forces, as well as all state, county, and local corrections
-- all private and commercial licensed guards, sentries,
investigators, special police, and security personnel.
-- and at this point we could be confident that all those radical
extremist gun nuts would not be able to argue that their disarmament
was a government conspiracy. Then and only then could we demand that
every single gun-owning individual and private citizen turn in each
and every gun they own, to be confiscated at designated collection
points. Our demand would extend to all criminals as well -- turn in
their guns, no questions asked. We could grant a general amnesty to
all persons who have guns, regardless of which criminal reason they
may have for owning them.
After all the guns are turned in, we could proudly hold ourselves
up to the rest of the world as an example of what can be done if we
really want to stop our negative behaviors. We will, of course, have
to post notices at our borders that the import of guns into this
country will not be tolerated for any purpose, in order to prevent
the gun nuts from obtaining their "firearms fix" from other sources.
It's true, Ms. Bourne. We really can "stop anything we really
want to stop" -- including our own worst stupidity.
John Taylor is the Libertarian Second Amendment Caucus Maryland