Accompanied by a Large Male Clown at All Times
By Vin Suprynowicz
Special to The Libertarian Enterprise
When I ran out of time, cobbling together my recent write-up of
the Ian Slater paperback "Showdown: USA Vs. Militia," to track down
the title of the "obscure" novel which predicted (long before 1941) a
Japanese attack on Hawaii, I remember thinking "One of the Secret
Legion is going to write in on that one."
Sure enough, correspondent R.G., who doesn't give his city,
quickly ran the pesky lead to earth:
"Hector Bywater was an Englishman considered by many the greatest
naval historian/tactician since Alfred Thayer Mahan," R.G. writes.
"His fiction The Great Pacific War was fastidiously studied by
(Admiral Isoroku) Yamamoto, and was the basis for his speech to the
Naval War College several years before Pearl Harbor.
"Yamamoto was given responsibility for the Pacific fleet and for
developing a plan of attack on the United States. When the U.S. moved
its fleet to Pearl from Long Beach, Calif. in 1939 he formalized his
plan of attack based on Bywater's book.
"He became obsessed with secrecy regarding the attack plans. On
Aug. 13, 1940, Bywater's chief informant in Japan, an Englishman
named Cox, fell to his death from the third floor window of a police
station. Three days later, Bywater was found dead in his bed,
perhaps from a lethal does of strychnine, injected by a Japanese
agent who could have slipped through the ground floor window on a hot
"But the Nazi bombing of Richmond cut short the autopsy which
might have confirmed what is still a conspiracy theory, or (else)
established for the record that Bywater had succumbed to an
overindulgence in his good friend, John Barleycorn.
"More on this can be found in Visions of Infamy, by William
# # #
Las Vegas. Where else could we generate a case like Kelbi
Folkerson vs. Circus Circus, in which a summary judgment in favor of
the circus-themed gambling joint was recently upheld by the United
States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit?
Ms. Folkerson, a mime, was retained by the casino to "perform in
the guise of a life-size children's wind-up toy," according to court
Whether it was the quality of her performance, or some other
factor to which this lesser court is not privy, curious customers at
Circus Circus were apparently in the habit of attempting to touch Ms.
Folkerson, which steamed her, but good.
Finally one day, after one of these rubes "touched her shoulder,"
Ms. Folkerson hauled off and "hit the patron in the mouth" (I'm
adopting the precise technical language of the court, here) for which
action she was promptly fired.
Mime Folkerson sued. Of course. She argued she was terminated in
violation of the "retaliation" provisions of Title VII of the United
States Civil Rights Act, for engaging in the "protected activity" of
opposing the customer's sexual harassment ... by belting him in the
Finding for the employer, the Ninth Circuit ruled the
casino/hotel had taken "reasonable steps to ensure (employee's)
safety" by giving her a sign to wear on her back reading "Stop. Do
Not Touch," and by "providing for a large male clown to accompany her
at all times."
On behalf of everyone else whose womenfolk sometimes suspect they
are "accompanied by a large male clown at all times," I'm darned glad
that defense now passes into the official legal doctrine of these
United States. Aren't you?
# # #
I subscribe to a few publications, and receive a whole bunch more
that I don't remember asking for. (The ones from Singapore, for
instance. Just give it up, won't you, guys? A country where kissing
scenes are routinely blacked out at the movies, and visitors are
hanged for possessing Tylenol with codeine, Singapore is, to all
appearances, where young Japanese children are told they'll be sent
if they don't behave. I'm not coming, OK?)
But -- with the exception of "Shotgun News" -- there's only one
periodical that regularly leads me to risk bumping into phone polls
and puzzled pedestrians as I eagerly scan it while walking back from
my post office box at "Panhandler Station," and that would be the
slim, no-nonsense newsletter of the Ludwig von Mises Institute, "The
I thought the February edition was great, with William Diehl's
expose of "retirement" as a totally artificial "slough of
despondency" manufactured by the welfare-statists under their tragic
misunderstanding that "jobs" are a commodity in fixed supply.
But then came the April edition, with Ralph Raico's cover essay
on John Maynard Keynes (father of our modern, deficit-spending
welfare state), sold to us for all these years as a "model classical
liberal," but here revealed not only as a fan of German National
Socialism, but as a fellow full of enthusiasm (as late as 1936) for
the "readiness to experiment" of the economic central planners of
Stalin's gulag archipelago.
"The Free Market" is available at $25 per year from the LVMI in
Auburn, Ala., 36849-5301.
Vin Suprynowicz is the assistant editorial page editor of the Las
Vegas Review-Journal. The web site for the Suprynowicz column is at
The column is syndicated in the
United States and Canada via Mountain Media Syndications, P.O. Box
4422, Las Vegas Nev. 89127.